Normative Male Alexithymia, a mouthful of a phrase coined by Dr. Ron Levant, suggests that the typical emotional socialization experience of boys results in suppression of emotions in early childhood.
Dr. Levant developed a psychoeducational approach in working with this quite common issue that I often use in working with male clients.
The goal is to develop skills in emotional identification and expression, and I find that many men find it very approachable.
School Refusal is one of the most difficult challenges a parent can face. In this video, I address a starting point for parents to begin thinking about and brainstorming potential solutions.
https://youtu.be/OdOpoFeHImw
If we don't understand what we are feeling we may end up putting our energy in the wrong place. By getting in touch with what we're feeling, we may be able to get to the root of our issue.
Also, strong emotions can sometimes block us from reaching our goals. And, if we're out-of-touch with our feelings, we'll be more likely to blame a lack of willpower or discipline for something that is actually rooted in emotion.
Here’s a follow up video to my previous post on emotional suppression in men and boys.
https://youtu.be/rS7GJC71zoc
Alexithymia is a word used to describe an inability to identify and describe certain emotions in one's self. It's sometimes referred to as "emotional blindness." We see it in people who have been traumatized, in those who are depressed, or abuse substances or have other addictions (often gamers, for one). While it is not a very widely researched topic, those who have studied it believe men are more likely than women to be out of touch with their emotions.
This is the first in a series of videos I'll be posting about the topic
#mensmentalhealth #EmotionalIntelligence #mentalhealth
Families often talk to me about how their kid(s) do not like doing chores, and the battles they can get into over them. While spending too much time on this in a session can be unhelpful, I want to talk a bit about chores, especially in the context of overall family life.
Chores can be a very helpful thing for kids, and not just because it helps us parents out. Rather, it shows the value of family, of working together, and doing your part.
Chores can also be a time for parents to instill life skills: teaching the basics of how to load a dishwasher (though mom and dad may have very different views here!), doing a load of laundry, and basic household maintenance.
If we can think about chores as part of teaching overall life skills and independence, we won't be tempted to just do the task ourselves because it'll be easier, but rather use the opportunity to foster our kids' autonomy. This is the foundation on which kids turn into successful adults. So, hold on to the bigger picture here of developing independent life skills and don't get sucked into a culture of nagging and giving up.
In my experience, kids do want to help out, they just don't want to be nagged about it and feel forced to do something. They also don't want to go clean the room while you sit there watching TV. So, make chores part of a family building activity - something that you're all doing together. Make it fun. My kids and I play a game where we clean up a room in "fast forward" mode. They love it, the room gets clean, and we all have fun in the process.
It's (almost) never too early - and certainly never too late - to start your kids in this process.
Here's a good chart that has age-appropriate tasks:
https://childdevelopmentinfo.com/chores/the-ultimate-list-of-age-appropriate-chores/